As I write this Maple is laying across my feet. Wally is snoring in a bed nearby. There’s a baby kicking me.
The farm is in typical Spring fashion. But dare I say - its our best spring here yet?
That seems to be the theme of this year for me, it wasn’t anything I thought it would be but all along it was exactly what I needed.
I turn 31 on May 9. That’s tomorrow but you’re probably reading this on the actual day.
I adore my thirties. Truly. There’s no bullshit anymore or trying to be something I’m not. There’s no rat race I’ve entrenched myself in. I wear backwards baseball caps and jeans and march to the beat of my own Beyonce at Coachella drum.
Every year I like to write a list of lessons the previous taught me. It’s been fun looking back on how different things are but yet- they are so the same.
Without further ado:
A handful of lessons I learned in the last year.
Road rage does not serve me, but I still have it. For the love of goddess why are you going 13mph through downtown Charlevoix red Chevy Impala? Or bro who I just passed who is texting - yes that’s me who honked and yes I am waving my phone in the air and doing some weird motion to you. This is the year I sorta gave up road rage. I’m not the kind of person who pulls off and confronts people or follows you to your house- but Matt does inform me often “you don’t need to stare!” I LOVVVEE getting a look at people as I pass them. But this year more than ever, I gave it up. Slow people will be slow. Bros on their phones just need a scary woman staring at them. But my zooming days are over.
Brides get a bad reputation. Can we stop the entire talking point about ‘crazy brides’? 99% of the brides who hire Sweetwater Floral are the kindest, most real, amazing humans on this planet. Bride-zilla is dumb and we need to stop it. Let’s be kinder.
When in doubt, eat a salad before dinner. I started a new thing this year where I eat an enormous salad before I decide what I want. During baseball season I eat alone most nights because Matt is coaching. I hate cooking for 1 so typically I heat up something frozen or pick around for leftovers or eat pretzels dipped in peanut butter. My best new habit this year is eating an enormous salad of local greens before hand - that way my Costco frozen pizza slice doesn’t seem like a total mistake.
Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? This year I learned about how HALT is what leads to anxiety for me. Someone shared this with me and it was a light bulb moment. When my anxiety is flaring up - I can look to one of those 4 as the main culprit. Its a perfect storm when I have a combo. So if I’m Lonely & Angry - suddenly my anxiety feels like a lot more to manage. As I’ve written about in great length before - it seems that exercise, food & a nap can fix just about anything for me. I’m sticking to this plan.
The Tiny House was one of the best decisions we made. This time last year we had a shell of a tiny house sitting here at the farm and were about to get into a pretty extensive build out on that thing. It wouldn’t be until the tail end of July till it was done but it would involve a LOT more than I ever anticipated. But, ‘the tiny’ as we lovingly call it is one of my favorite parts of the farm. I adore it. It was a weird idea that I’m so glad we acted on. Trust your next weird idea.
I have absolutely zero time, energy, or emotional laboring to give selfish people. I think I hit a breaking point this year. I am over people who can think of no one but themselves and what best serves them. Who think only of what makes them ‘look the best to others.’ It’s always pissed me off, but this year I just started cutting out people left and right who behave this way. I’ve written before about ‘emotionally laboring’ over situations that don’t serve me, but this year- removing selfish people from the equation was a real nice change.
Stop obsessing over a timeline. That engagement ring, or promotion, or baby, or move, or swipe right date you want or conversation you ‘have to have’ with your brother — stop planning it into some weird timeline you think you have to follow. Trust me. I spent the first 5 months of my 30th year on this planet still trying to force so many things into my life that I thought I ‘had to’ have by a certain time. It’s been a major relief to just let go of any and all timeline expectations and instead just live.
An attitude of gratitude boo. Every single day I wake up and take a second to just think of how damn grateful I am for this life. My husband. This baby. The ability to carry this baby. This tiny farm. This amazing business I built. These insane animals that live in our house. My family. My health. My best friends. It would be easier to focus on what we ‘don’t have’ or what we ‘want or need.’ It would be really easy to never think about any of it! Just go through the motions - one after the other. But perhaps what helped me the most this year was realizing that even on the shittiest of shit days - it is pretty great still.
So cheers to 31. To a new chapter. To another trip around the sun. Thanks for being along for the ride with me.