Each year as Thanksgiving approaches I am so excited for my favorite holiday. I feel the same way when 4th of July is rounding the bend. I have two favs and both are all about family, food and celebrating how good we have it.
As Turkey Day rolls around this year, our house is a mess. Like, next level.
You may have seen we started a big project this week replacing some terrible windows. Well, in case you aren’t familiar with window installation - its a pretty invasive and messy job.
When we bought the farm, every single person who came through it with us commented on the windows. And like, I know, thanks guys, snow comes in one corner, they were BAD. This Spring when I started getting quotes and interviewing window companies one guy said they were truly the worst windows he’s ever seen. One even has moss growing out of it. #bless
As you may know, Matt and I tackle one semi big ‘house project’ per winter and replacing these 4 enormous windows was it for this year. We saved during the summer and had a goal that it would happen by the time the snow flies (spoiler: it doesn’t- it snowed in our house plenty already).
We have gorgeous trim around our windows (one of just a handful of things I really wanna keep) so the pressure was on to remove all the trim without damaging it. Once you pull the trim back, you essentially rip away a few layers of this buffer stuff and then literally just push the old window out of the house.
There is no piece of humble pie like the one where you have a 6 ft hole in your dining room and you’re trying to run a business but its 50 degrees in your house and snowing in your ‘office.’
So far, as I write this, the project has gone really well. We will need paint touch ups and I’m half convinced the window the guys are working on today is rotting in the wall and I could go on but you catch my drift.
And wasn’t this post about Thanksgiving? I’m getting there.
So Monday night Rob (read: my mom, we all call her Rob) rolled into town. She has some houseplants that I take care of for her in the winter and she wanted to grab dinner and told me she would be over soon, and all of the sudden she was in the foyer.
Two years ago. Hell even last year, I would have DIED. Here’s why; for some reason, it took me a LONG ASS TIME to get over the house not being perfect. Two years ago I would have met my mom on the porch, snagged the plants and told her I’d be out in a hot second. Two years ago I would have attempted to clean up an ACTUAL CONSTRUCTION ZONE before she came over.
Disclaimer; my mom does not give a shit. This is me. This is ego and perfectionism and control and my ‘get things done and make it look easy’ attitude.
Last year, I would have met Mom in the foyer and apologized profusely (for absolutely no reason, this does not warrant an apology) about the mess. My mom, once again, would not have cared- at all.
Hell, two years ago I honestly would have told our contractor we needed to delay until after the holidays. Because I need the house to be functioning for one freaking week a year when my siblings and family and random guests stomp through here. That is insane.
No no. That Kalin is gone.
I heard my mom open the door and met her in the foyer and grabbed the plants and said “omg come look at the window project, it looks SO GOOD.”
We oohed and aahed at how the living room actually looks completely new and how we cant wait to go to Homegoods and find some cute window treatments.
Rob didn’t comment for a second on the mess. The trim laying on the floor. The dogs crates jammed in our kitchen for a few weeks until this project wraps. The puppy gates everywhere so the Boopings are contained to the kitchen and den while the contractors are here. The gazillion buckets of flowers stacked in the foyer for workshops alongside window tape and caulk guns. The furniture rearranged in our two biggest rooms. The drop cloth walk way throughout the entire first floor. She didn’t see it.
NEWSFLASH BABES: PEOPLE ARE NOT NOTICING THE STUFF THAT YOU’RE STRESSING ABOUT.
Replacing windows in a blip on our life radar. This season of life we are in is too. Thanksgiving is a blip. Its one meal, one day. The blips move quickly.
And take it from a girl who explained to a doctor recently that 2018 has felt like ‘a decade long.’
Your house not being perfect is a blip. Your wedding planning season where you cry on the car ride home from Thanksgiving because your uncle drinks too much and said something mean - is a blip. The meal when your sibling announces a promotion and you’re stuck at some job that is sucking your soul- its a blip.
Move past the perfectionism. Move away from your ego. Let your mom in the damn house.
This Thanksgiving, I’m perhaps most grateful for the fact that I’m really settling into a new version where I care about whats most important and I’m passing on the stress and anxiety of things out of my control completely.
I attribute this to therapy (post on that coming soon) and really having a year where I learned that you can be rushed into emergency surgery on a random Thursday when you planned on designing a wedding that day. And for the next few weeks you’ll lean so heavily on the people around you to do literally everything that your ego realizes life is exhausting pushing its way to the front.
Let go of the ego. Open the door and let the people in. Yes when its messy. Yes when your mail pile is becoming so intense it could form a mouth and swallow small children. Yes when your dogs are sorta misbehaving. Yes when your windows aren’t trimmed in and you walk a drop cloth highway around your first floor.
Life is messy. And hard. And weird.
I’m thankful for all of that.
Happy Thanksgiving my sweet.