on the difference between being helpful & hurtful.
Am I just too sensitive? That might be it. Or does no one talk about how big of an ass some people can be about your dreams and goals?
For the life of me, I cannot get over how odd certain people react to a woman trying to start a farm.
We've had a few people come out to look at the field we are planting our lavender in. The question is pretty simple, 'What do we need to do to this ground to get it ready?' Every time, it's just me. Matt is working 80 hours a week this time of year, so the responsibility of getting all this stuff taken care of falls on me in the early evening hours each day.
One of the guys who came out was super nice. He suggested a lot of nice things and offered some great advice. Told me his opinion about what to do in what order and generally didn't seem too bothered by a young tall blonde woman asking questions about farming. The other guy sounded like he was scolding a first grader who pooped their pants and then hid them in a locker. You would have thought I was the worst thing to happen since N'Sync broke up. "Well you can be seriously thinking of getting this done this year right?" ew. "No I'm telling you what you have to do, do you even know how to plant lavender?" EW.
You know what upset me the most though? What really grinds my Kiki gears? One of the people walked alongside me & the other one just stormed ahead shaking his head the entire time.
Since December when we told people about all this craziness there are two reactions. They are VERY similar to these situations. One is supportive & offers good vibes and smiles. The other is one filled with jealousy, condescending tones & a lack of general niceness. Such is life I presume. I like to think a lot of people live with a lot of regrets, and so they project nasty vibes on people who are trying to do what makes them happy. Who knows. It's all a mind boggle to me.
Is it so wrong for a girl to just want a small lavender farm that smells good and makes people happy?
When I went to test drive tractors in January the guy told me in the 20+ years he's worked there he has never had a woman come in alone to test drive a tractor. WHAT!?!
I've learned a lot in the last few months. I guess the most important of those lessons is that I can't stop what I'm doing, or slow down, or change my plan to make anyone else happy. And I can't let people's doubt or general unhappiness with what we've decided rain on my parade.
And so, I smiled at the gentleman when he finally turned around from his march ahead to look back at me. I thanked him for his time and opinions. I ALWAYS have to think of my mom in these situations, teaching me my entire life to genuinely 'extend the olive branch.' But there's also a side of me that doesn't take s*** from anyone. And so as we walked back to his truck he again shook his head and grumbled about how the heck we are 'going to make this all happen with limited space and ability to get large equipment back there and this and that and that and this" and I smiled....
"We are going to make this happen because its my dream and I can't wait for you to stop by and visit one day, its gonna blow your mind. Have a nice day. Bye."